Saturday, April 07, 2007

Carefree, But Still Wearing Pants

I squirmed and complained but I still ended up going on a trip to Arizona. Not to that shit-hole Phoenix or even that armpit Scottsdale...but to CAREFREE (insert ohs! and ahs! here).
I have to admit that besides being an awesome place to hide bodies or to get abducted by ass-fixated extra-terrestrials, the desert is really nice. I was surprised at how much life there is. At night the aroma from the desert bloom is so intense that you would think that you were standing among beds of flowers (with bodies hidden under them, craftily).
Birdsong, flowers! Goddamn if I wasn't going to get this far fucking West and this out-of-doors without shooting something! FUCK!
I had hoped that the issuing of a six-shooter was still standard practice; there are fucking rattlers and scorpions, you know!
That's why the garden at E's parents house has gravel paths; rattlers hate gravel. They're probably not to fond of .40 lead slugs from a double-action Smith and Wesson either.
The trip was fine. I did get to go into a pretentiously upscale retailer that featureed some very nice collectibles having to do with the West.
The landscape is fantastic and alien.
Sure you have to dodge the occasional golf cart (the place is essentially a thriving, multi-millionaired Necropolis), but better that than rattlesnakes, no?


This is as much as I could capture with my camera of the Javelina (havalina) meandering by the front door as E and I went for a morning walk. If they had let me strap that fuckin' Navy Colt on like I wanted to, this fucker would have been lunch (not really, they're kinda cute and really smelly).

We arrived at the house in pitch dark, so this view was a surprise to wake up to. That big fuckin' rock in the distance has a raptor sitting on it. Birds were everywhere; hawks, mourning doves, those gray robin-lookin' bastards. The pool was too cold to get into even though it was in the 90's while I was there; it was still only March.



This is the rockpile that the community gets it's name from, "The Boulders". Those little box-like things at the base of the pile are very large houses! "Fuck!", you say? Fuck, indeed...

6 comments:

Katie said...

Arizona is a nice place to go (even "shit" places like Scottsdale)in this cold spell! I thought it was a neat place when I was there awhile ago...any break is good, right?

Tony Akins said...

Of course I should be more generous with my description of Scottsdale...But, yes Katie anyplace with 90 degree weather is welcome!

clmcshane said...

Gorgeous pictures, Tony. Arizona rockscapes are so awesome to look at.

Tony Akins said...

Thanks Cinders!

el dooglas said...

fuck.

Fred Schiller said...

What's the point of all that heat with no humidity?

I remember when Ash Wood moved out there to work at MacFarlane's and he would torture Valarie with stories of having to fish drowned bunny rabbits out of the pool every morning. The little buggers would lean down to get a sip of water and then tumble in with no way out.

Valarie's brother and family are moving to Phoenix or thereabouts and suggested that we join them. Unlike California, he claims that there are actually houses cheap enough to buy that you don't have to sell off your baby's stem cells for a down payment. I don't know if they allow fat people across the state line, do they?